Sometimes I just stop and stare at their faces, small and precious, with chubby cheeks and innocent eyes, and I think about how boring life was before them.
As of late, I’ve been praying the prayer they tell you to never pray. Oh yes, I’ve been praying for patience. They say to never pray for patience because God will consistently give you the opportunity to practice this noble virtue….maybe by putting you in a line somewhere, or behind stand-still traffic, or giving you a colicky baby. But I recognize the need for patience now more than ever before in my life. Having become accustomed to a life of instant gratification, I have found it difficult to put aside my demands for those I love most. My schedule often revolves around what I have to do, with playtime being a distant second or third or seventh place. Time is precious, and it hasn’t been until recently that I’ve truly embraced that playing groceries is just as important to them as checking the bank account is to me. That having them “help” me clean is just as important to them as actually cleaning is to me. That they can’t just stop doing what they’re doing to hop in the car to go…because they’re in the middle of something and it’s important. It’s important to them, so it needs to be important to me, regardless of whatever it is.
My determined diva made me realize this today. She was coloring at the table and I asked her to do something, I don’t remember what. But she replied that she couldn’t right then because she was “working”. It’s true, she was. Though part of me wanted to tell her to do it right now because she is a child and should do as I say, the other patient side prevailed to make me realize that she was working. She was doing the work of childhood, and my request could wait a few minutes until she was done. Her time is just as finite as mine, and when this one precious irreplaceable day is done I still won’t remember what I asked her to do, but I will share this memory with her of respecting her very important work.
Patience is really teaching me a lot lately.